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Carlos Mencia Quotes Quotes
I was never one of those fat-victim people. I always have to address how much weight I lost, and people always realize then how fat I was.
~ Carlos Mencia
Address
Always
Fat
How
How Much
Lost
Much
Never
People
Realize
Then
Those
Weight
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I was only 20, 21. I was basically going to college to get me out of the ghetto. A friend suggested I try stand-up.
~ Carlos Mencia
Basically
College
Friend
Get
Ghetto
Going
Me
Only
Out
Suggested
Try
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copy
I will make a joke about any of my family members, about me, about my wife, if I really thought that I'm doing it to be funny. If there's some darkness to it, or I think it's ill-willed or mean or not cool, then I won't do it.
~ Carlos Mencia
About
Any
Cool
Darkness
Doing
Family
Family Members
Funny
I Think
Joke
Make
Me
Mean
Members
Really
Some
Then
Think
Thought
Wife
Will
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I worked as a comedian for 23 years, 51 weeks a year.
~ Carlos Mencia
Comedian
Weeks
Worked
Year
Years
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I'm a spiritual person: I believe that if you read the Bible, you get what you want from it. But, when you actually read it, you see the beauty, spirituality, the joy and love, and what makes us godly.
~ Carlos Mencia
Actually
Beauty
Believe
Bible
Get
Godly
I Believe
I Believe That
Joy
Love
Makes
Person
Read
See
Spiritual
Spiritual Person
Spirituality
Us
Want
You
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I'm a teacher and a philosopher by nature... In the end, I'm trying to teach people to live a better life. And if I can do that on top of entertain, then I leave the world a better place.
~ Carlos Mencia
Better
Better Life
Better Place
End
Entertain
I Can
In The End
Leave
Life
Live
Nature
People
Philosopher
Place
Teach
Teacher
Then
Top
Trying
World
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I'm afraid of being poor; I'm afraid of living in the projects... I'm afraid of being thought as unsuccessful.
~ Carlos Mencia
Afraid
Being
Living
Poor
Projects
Thought
Unsuccessful
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I'm just trying to be funny, trying to make people laugh, and trying to make the world a better place through some jokes. I don't have words for it. It's so overwhelming.
~ Carlos Mencia
Better
Better Place
Funny
Jokes
Just
Laugh
Make
Overwhelming
People
Place
Some
Through
Trying
Words
World
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I'm like most people in America. I'm conservative on some things, and I'm liberal on other things.
~ Carlos Mencia
America
Conservative
Liberal
Like
Most
Other
People
Some
Some Things
Things
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I'm not good looking, but I'm not bad looking.
~ Carlos Mencia
Bad
Good
Good-Looking
Looking
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I've dated many women at the same time. But I told them. I didn't keep any secrets from them.
~ Carlos Mencia
Any
Dated
Keep
Many
Same
Same Time
Secrets
Them
Time
Women
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I've gotten in trouble with every race you can imagine. They say, 'I can't believe you talked about this - you're racist.' And I say, 'How can I be racist? Isn't racism exclusionary? If all of you are offended, that means I'm including every race in my jokes.'
~ Carlos Mencia
About
Believe
Every
Gotten
How
Imagine
Including
Jokes
Means
Offended
Race
Racism
Say
Talked
They Say
Trouble
You
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If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects, poor, I assumed that everybody understood that it came with its own reasons for being the way I am. I didn't get that people needed to understand where my comedy came from; I thought that they knew that.
~ Carlos Mencia
Am
Angeles
Assumed
Being
Came
Comedy
East
Everybody
Get
Grew
I Am
Knew
Los
Los Angeles
Needed
Own
People
Poor
Projects
Reasons
Say
Thought
Understand
Understood
Up
Way
Were
Where
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If I've got a black joke, and I can't tell it in Oakland, then I shouldn't tell the joke anywhere else.
~ Carlos Mencia
Anywhere
Anywhere Else
Black
Else
Got
Joke
Oakland
Tell
Then
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If the worst thing happening to Middle Eastern people is that Carlos Mencia is doing a joke about them being stopped at airports, that's a pretty awesome state of affairs.
~ Carlos Mencia
About
Affairs
Airport
Awesome
Being
Doing
Eastern
Happening
Joke
Middle
Middle Eastern
People
Pretty
State
Stopped
Them
Thing
Worst
Worst Thing
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copy
If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.
~ Carlos Mencia
Baby
Laughing
Living
You
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If you don't like your job, then change it by getting some better skills. Until then, shut up and get my burger with a smile, like in the commercials.
~ Carlos Mencia
Better
Burger
Change
Commercials
Get
Getting
Job
Like
Shut
Shut Up
Skills
Smile
Some
Then
Until
Up
You
Your
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If you've never seen me perform live, I'm a must-see. I'm very funny. I have a different perspective sometimes on a lot of what I do and the world itself, especially America.
~ Carlos Mencia
America
Different
Different Perspective
Funny
Itself
Live
Lot
Me
Never
Perform
Perspective
Seen
Sometimes
Very
World
You
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In this pessimistic world, especially in America, a positive outlook is very necessary.
~ Carlos Mencia
America
Necessary
Outlook
Pessimistic
Positive
Very
World
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Is it my fault that there is a stereotype that black people are not good swimmers? I know that's a joke, but somebody will say, 'I can't believe you would say that.' Well, first of all it's just a joke, and second of all if you watch the Olympics, black people win medals in jumping, running. They don't win any in swimming.
~ Carlos Mencia
Any
Believe
Black
Fault
First
First Of All
Good
Joke
Jumping
Just
Know
Medals
Olympics
People
Running
Say
Second
Somebody
Stereotype
Swimmers
Swimming
Watch
Well
Will
Win
Would
You
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copy
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AuthorName
Carlos Mencia
Profession
Comedian
BirthDate
22 October, 1967
Country
United States
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