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Alan King Quotes
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
~ Alan King
Banker
Banks
Chain
Come
Down
Friend
Friendly
How
Image
New
Now
Pens
You
Your
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
~ Alan King
About
Books
Buy
Got
Love
Marriage
Read
Separate
Two
Want
You
design
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
~ Alan King
Fighting
Keeping
Marriage
Nature
Strangers
Us
Way
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
~ Alan King
Fifteen
Last
Live
Longer
Spend
Toilet
Years
You
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
~ Alan King
Eat
Every
Holiday
Jewish
Summary
Tried
Us
Won
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Age, style, where you come from, where you were born, it's different every time, which, to me, is refreshing because it says that there isn't any one thing, one formula or kind of character that makes a great comedian. Everybody has had a different approach.
~ Alan King
Age
Any
Approach
Because
Born
Character
Come
Comedian
Different
Different Approach
Every
Every Time
Everybody
Formula
Great
Had
Kind
Makes
Me
One Thing
Refreshing
Says
Style
Thing
Time
Were
Where
Which
You
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copy
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
~ Alan King
Always
Attack
Been
Even
Fun
Get
Humor
Make
Somebody
Them
Want
Weapon
You
design
copy
As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
~ Alan King
Better
Father
Parent
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As you get older, as you become more sensitive, feel more, it becomes harder to make jokes. You censor yourself.
~ Alan King
Become
Becomes
Censor
Feel
Get
Harder
Jokes
Make
More
Older
Sensitive
You
Yourself
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
~ Alan King
Ability
Behaves
Comedy
Create
Distorted
Fun
House
Make
Mirror
Nothing
Reflection
Reflections
Set
Society
Standards
Styles
Then
Watch
design
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
~ Alan King
Amazing
Away
Business
Calling
Comedy
Course
First
Get
Hard
Hooked
How
Laugh
Learn
Once
Survive
Then
To Survive
Turn
You
design
copy
Did you hear the one about the elderly Jew on his deathbed who sent for a priest, after declaring to his astonished relatives that 'I want to convert.' Asked why he would become a Catholic, after living all his life as a Jew, he answered: 'Better one of them should die than one of us.'
~ Alan King
About
After
Answered
Asked
Astonished
Become
Better
Catholic
Convert
Deathbed
Declaring
Did
Die
Elderly
He
Hear
His
Jew
Life
Living
Priest
Relatives
Sent
Should
Than
Them
Us
Want
Who
Why
Would
You
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
~ Alan King
Brought
Confidence
Ed Sullivan
First
Freedom
Gave
Lot
Me
Moore
Program
Sullivan
Then
TV
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
~ Alan King
Balls
Cook
Everything
Fluffy
Had
Hours
Know
Made
Mother
She
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I can't stay friends with anyone who doesn't have a passion for something; and, generally speaking, artistic people, creative people carry it right into the kitchen, too. They have a zest for life; the excitement of living. All of the great eaters I've known are also men of great wit.
~ Alan King
Also
Anyone
Artistic
Carry
Creative
Creative People
Excitement
Friends
Generally
Great
Kitchen
Known
Life
Living
Men
Passion
People
Right
Something
Speaking
Stay
Too
Who
Wit
Zest
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
~ Alan King
Being
Bird
Come
Early
Early Bird
Gonna
Me
Mind
Nobody
Special
Tell
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I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
~ Alan King
Again
Back
Ball
Been
Fun
Going
Had
Hate
I Love
Just
Laughing
Listen
Love
Me
More
Movies
Much
People
Role
Sit
Sympathetic
Theater
Them
Two
Two Weeks
Villains
Weeks
Years
design
copy
I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
~ Alan King
Always
Any
Going
Just
Kitchen
Mother
Never
Other
Pots
Room
Saw
Were
design
copy
I learned to cook in self-defense. My wife doesn't know what a kitchen is. In the first month of our marriage, she broiled lamb chops 26 nights in a row. Then I took over. I used to mind her not caring about food, but no more - as long as I can eat what I want.
~ Alan King
About
Caring
Chops
Cook
Eat
First
Food
Her
I Can
Kitchen
Know
Lamb
Learned
Long
Marriage
Mind
Month
More
Nights
Not Caring
Our
Over
Row
Self-Defense
She
Then
Took
Used
Want
Wife
design
copy
I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
~ Alan King
Carnegie
Carnegie Hall
Hall
Ma
Made
Practice
design
copy
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Total Records :
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Author Profile
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AuthorName
Alan King
Profession
Comedian
BirthDate
26 December, 1927
DeathDate
09 May, 2004
Country
United States
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