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W C Fields Quotes
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
~ W. C. Fields
Because
Expect
Impress
Keep
Life
Never
Rest
She
Standard
Try
Up
Woman
You
Your
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
~ W. C. Fields
All Women
Crazy
Degree
Doubt
Exists
No Doubt
Only
Question
Women
Women Are
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
~ W. C. Fields
Done
Drinking
Easy
Now
Off
Say
Swear
Thousand
Thousand Times
Times
You
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On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.
~ W. C. Fields
Rather
Whole
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
~ W. C. Fields
Days
Food
Forced
Live
Nothing
Once
Prohibition
Water
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
~ W. C. Fields
Dead
Fish
Float
Live
Remember
Swim
Takes
Upstream
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
~ W. C. Fields
Africa
Days
Food
Forgot
Had
Live
Me
Nothing
Reminds
Several
Somebody
Water
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Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
~ W. C. Fields
Another
Bartender
Best
Case
Nerves
Scotch
Set
Thing
Up
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
~ W. C. Fields
Actor
Actress
Devil
Great
Great Actor
Husband
Lousy
Me
Seen
Show
You
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.
~ W. C. Fields
Beautiful
Drink
Except
Experience
Life
Most
Most Beautiful
Sleep
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
~ W. C. Fields
Better
Exactly
Like
Nothing
Sex
Some
Some Things
Than
Things
Worse
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
~ W. C. Fields
Cork
Lunch
Out
Some
Took
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
~ W. C. Fields
Day
Every
Every Day
Get
Off
Over
Smile
Start
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The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
~ W. C. Fields
Best
Cure
Get
Insomnia
Lot
Sleep
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
~ W. C. Fields
Breath
Breathes
Cat
Cheese
Clever
Down
Eats
Holes
Rat
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
~ W. C. Fields
Another
Cost
Dollar
Gone
Living
Quart
Up
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
~ W. C. Fields
Ever
His
Man
Met
Over
Pancakes
Popcorn
Put
Themselves
Turn
Would
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
~ W. C. Fields
Alive
Dangerous
Dangerous Place
Get
Getting
Lucky
Man
Out
Place
World
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
~ W. C. Fields
Ahead
Drink
Get
Liquor
Only
Real
Sell
Today
Two
Ways
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
~ W. C. Fields
Affairs
Bull
Face
He
Man
Must
Situation
Tail
Take
Time
design
copy
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Author Profile
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AuthorName
W. C. Fields
Profession
Comedian
BirthDate
29 January, 1880
DeathDate
25 December, 1946
Country
United States
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