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Spike Milligan Quotes Quotes
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
~ Spike Milligan
Cure
Sit
Sure
Tree
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
~ Spike Milligan
Ask
Chance
Happy
Make
Me
Money
Prove
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And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
~ Spike Milligan
Board
Connected
Electricity
God
He
Light
Said
Thursday
Until
Wait
Would
design
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
~ Spike Milligan
Come
Going
Quietly
Use
You
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
~ Spike Milligan
Every
Occasion
Should
Used
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For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.
~ Spike Milligan
Caesar
Finally
Foot
Hand
Iron
Piece
Ruled
String
Ten
Ten Years
Then
Wooden
Years
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
~ Spike Milligan
Army
Eleven
Five
Foot
How
Long
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
~ Spike Milligan
I Can
Like
Native
Speak
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
~ Spike Milligan
Body
Eighteen
Fridge
Keep
Old
Year
Year-Old
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
~ Spike Milligan
Arab
Arm
Friendly
Hands
Prove
Right
Right Arm
Shook
Still
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
~ Spike Milligan
Harry
Joke
Laughing
Many
Me
Singing
Somebody
Spent
Until
Years
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I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
~ Spike Milligan
Any
Begin
He
Mine
Never
Poem
Reading
Reads
Shakespeare
Should
Then
Thought
Why
design
copy
I'm a hero with coward's legs.
~ Spike Milligan
Coward
Hero
Legs
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I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.
~ Spike Milligan
Afraid
Dying
Happens
Just
Want
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.
~ Spike Milligan
Anything
Order
Perfect
Working
Worn
design
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It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.
~ Spike Milligan
He
Marriage
Perfect
She
Want
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It's all in the mind, you know.
~ Spike Milligan
Know
Mind
You
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Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
~ Spike Milligan
Bring
Buy
Does
Form
Happiness
Misery
Money
More
Pleasant
You
design
copy
Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.
~ Spike Milligan
Better
Buy
Class
Enemy
Friends
Got
Money
You
design
copy
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
~ Spike Milligan
Father
Had
He
Influence
Lunatic
Me
Profound
design
copy
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Author Profile
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AuthorName
Spike Milligan
Profession
Comedian
BirthDate
16 April, 1918
DeathDate
27 February, 2002
Country
Ireland
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