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Erma Bombeck Quotes
Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.
~ Erma Bombeck
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
~ Erma Bombeck
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The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
~ Erma Bombeck
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
~ Erma Bombeck
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There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
~ Erma Bombeck
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There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
~ Erma Bombeck
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
~ Erma Bombeck
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There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.
~ Erma Bombeck
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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
~ Erma Bombeck
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
~ Erma Bombeck
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
~ Erma Bombeck
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.
~ Erma Bombeck
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When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
~ Erma Bombeck
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Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
~ Erma Bombeck
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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
~ Erma Bombeck
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Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.
~ Erma Bombeck
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AuthorName
Erma Bombeck
Profession
Journalist
BirthDate
21 February, 1927
DeathDate
22 April, 1996
Country
United States
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