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Comedian Quotes
Don't tell your friends about your indigestion. "How are you" is a greeting, not a question.
~ Arthur Guiterman
About
Friends
Greeting
How
Question
Tell
You
Your
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A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
~ Aziz Ansari
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After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: 'Well, that crowd is obviously wrong. That crowd has absolutely no idea what it's talking about.'
~ Aziz Ansari
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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
~ Aziz Ansari
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Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that.
~ Aziz Ansari
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For the majority of the time, I may as well have been just a really tan white kid. You know, I may as well have just been, like, a fat kid.
~ Aziz Ansari
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I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
~ Aziz Ansari
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I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
~ Aziz Ansari
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I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat.
~ Aziz Ansari
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Like with Parks and Recreation, it's so much fun because the people writing it are funny and they're open and you just go in there and have a good time. It's pretty much the easiest job I've ever had.
~ Aziz Ansari
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One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it's Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack.
~ Aziz Ansari
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When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour. I try to eat at all the weird places, the obscure barbecue joints, burger places. There are a few spots in L.A. that I'm obsessed with - one of them is the Taco Zone taco truck on Alvarado. There are secret off-menu items that are amazing.
~ Aziz Ansari
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A lot of the time, when people meet someone in a wheelchair, or with some disability, it's the first thing they notice, but they don't know how to react.
~ Zach Anner
Disability
First
First Thing
How
Know
Lot
Meet
Notice
People
React
Some
Someone
The First Thing
Thing
Time
Wheelchair
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Depending on where my self-confidence was, growing up, I would use humor either to bring people closer, or to keep them away from certain feelings I had.
~ Zach Anner
Away
Bring
Certain
Closer
Depending
Either
Feelings
Growing
Growing Up
Had
Humor
Keep
People
Self-Confidence
Them
Up
Use
Where
Would
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Even the most embarrassing mishap can be spun into comedic gold.
~ Zach Anner
Comedic
Embarrassing
Even
Gold
Most
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Even when something sad or tragic happens, I find a way to look at it in a positive light. People who don't have a sense of humor must be so sad all the time.
~ Zach Anner
Even
Find
Happens
Humor
Light
Look
Must
People
Positive
Sad
Sense
Sense Of Humor
Something
Time
Tragic
Way
Who
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For me, cerebral palsy wasn't the biggest deal, because I always had it. You know, you always work with what you got.
~ Zach Anner
Always
Because
Biggest
Cerebral
Deal
Got
Had
Know
Me
Work
You
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Humor disarms people. It opens them up to starting a dialogue about things they wouldn't normally talk about. I don't understand how people who don't have a sense of humor get through life.
~ Zach Anner
About
Dialogue
Get
How
Humor
Life
Normally
Opens
People
Sense
Sense Of Humor
Starting
Talk
Them
Things
Through
Understand
Up
Who
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Humour allows people to exhale a little.
~ Zach Anner
Humour
Little
People
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I don't subscribe to the idea that if you don't have the body you want, you can't be proud of the body you have. I think you can do both.
~ Zach Anner
Body
Both
I Think
Idea
Proud
Subscribe
Think
Want
You
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