Billy Connolly Quotes Quotes

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It's something they reserve just for me.
Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying.
Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?
Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the dark hiding. It's easy to hide and shout and waste people's time.
I don't aim to offend.
I don't understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I'm amazed what people come up with when they look at them. There's one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.
I like Dali and Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.
I loathe hecklers. I haven't got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone. There's an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it's a different venue.
I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it's not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.
I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding's a mystery to me now. You can't go back, your life changes every day.
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AuthorName
Billy Connolly
Profession
Comedian
BirthDate
24 November, 1942
Country
Scotland
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