Alan King Quotes

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
Age, style, where you come from, where you were born, it's different every time, which, to me, is refreshing because it says that there isn't any one thing, one formula or kind of character that makes a great comedian. Everybody has had a different approach.
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
As you get older, as you become more sensitive, feel more, it becomes harder to make jokes. You censor yourself.
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
Did you hear the one about the elderly Jew on his deathbed who sent for a priest, after declaring to his astonished relatives that 'I want to convert.' Asked why he would become a Catholic, after living all his life as a Jew, he answered: 'Better one of them should die than one of us.'
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
I can't stay friends with anyone who doesn't have a passion for something; and, generally speaking, artistic people, creative people carry it right into the kitchen, too. They have a zest for life; the excitement of living. All of the great eaters I've known are also men of great wit.
I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
I learned to cook in self-defense. My wife doesn't know what a kitchen is. In the first month of our marriage, she broiled lamb chops 26 nights in a row. Then I took over. I used to mind her not caring about food, but no more - as long as I can eat what I want.
I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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Total Records : 55

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AuthorName
Alan King
Profession
Comedian
BirthDate
26 December, 1927
DeathDate
09 May, 2004
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