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Comedian Quotes
I never met a kid I liked.
~ W. C. Fields
Kid
Liked
Met
Never
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I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
~ W. C. Fields
Against
Always
Anyone
Never
Vote
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I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.
~ W. C. Fields
About
Being
Drink
Driven
Home
Just
Never
Worry
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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
~ W. C. Fields
I Think
Once
Philadelphia
Spent
Sunday
Think
Year
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
~ W. C. Fields
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
~ W. C. Fields
About
Again
Being
Damn
First
Fool
If At First
No Point
Point
Quit
Succeed
Then
Try
You
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
~ W. C. Fields
Had
Life
Live
My Life
Over
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If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
~ W. C. Fields
Behind
Far
Prosperity
Will
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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
~ W. C. Fields
Brilliance
Bull
Them
You
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
~ W. C. Fields
Answer
Call
You
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It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
~ W. C. Fields
Courtesy
Drink
Drove
Had
Her
Me
Never
Thank
Who
Woman
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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
~ W. C. Fields
Allow
His
Keep
Money
Morally
Morally Wrong
Sucker
Wrong
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
~ W. C. Fields
Closed
Last
Philadelphia
Week
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
~ W. C. Fields
Cold
Her
Marry
Night
Out
Outdoors
She
Still
Survive
Then
Throw
Woman
Yard
You
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
~ W. C. Fields
Because
Been
Cry
May
Milk
Never
Over
Poisoned
Spilt
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Never give a sucker an even break.
~ W. C. Fields
Break
Even
Give
Never
Sucker
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
~ W. C. Fields
Because
Expect
Impress
Keep
Life
Never
Rest
She
Standard
Try
Up
Woman
You
Your
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
~ W. C. Fields
All Women
Crazy
Degree
Doubt
Exists
No Doubt
Only
Question
Women
Women Are
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
~ W. C. Fields
Done
Drinking
Easy
Now
Off
Say
Swear
Thousand
Thousand Times
Times
You
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On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.
~ W. C. Fields
Rather
Whole
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